Celebration of the life of Richard David Forbes
conducted by Lenny Love ~ Celebrate People
at 12 Noon on Friday the 22nd of May 2020, at Mortonhall Crematorium

Entry music: 1 - ‘The Sacrifice’ ~ Michael Nyman [2’:47”]
Entry of casket: 2 – ‘Comptine D’un Autre été ~ Yann Tiersen [2’:21”] 

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon. Before we continue, can you please make sure that your mobile phones are all switched off. Thank you.
It is wonderful to see you here today, in companionship and support to say our farewells and to offer what words of comfort and consolation that we can at this very, very, sad time.

We come to mourn. We come to remember, but we also come to celebrate the joys and the glories of a life that was well lived and that was known to all of you. We are here to commemorate the life of Richard David Forbes; a son, a brother, a husband, and a father. He was also a colleague, a friend and a neighbour who meant so much to all of our lives.

My name is Lenny Love - I am a Celebrant with Celebrate People, and I feel hugely privileged and truly honoured to have been asked to conduct today’s Humanist ceremony.
Later, there will be time for quiet contemplation, during which we can each think about Richard in our own way, and those of you of religious faith are very welcome to use this time for your own silent prayer.
Now at this point, I would normally explain a wee bit about Humanism. However, this ceremony is all about Richard, and there’s a lot to say, but our time here is limited, so I’ll just say that, while it is true that we never find a ‘substitute’ for a deceased person, we do find a place for those that we lose; and that place is in our hearts, and therefore, Richard lives on - in the hearts and in the memories of everyone he touched and nurtured.
So let us now remember Richard - a friendly, caring, talented, supportive and well-loved man who worked hard and lived a great life.

TRIBUTE

Richard was born on the 10th of December in 1967, at Queens Cross Maternity, Aberdeen, to Betty – who’d been a hairdresser - and Willie, who owned a car garage.
The Forbes family lived in Belgrave Terrace, then, along with his sister Lynn, moved to Richmondhill, before moving to Morningfield Road in Aberdeen, just before his 17th birthday.
Richard’s education began at Mile End Primary School, before he moved up to
Robert Gordons College.
As a young boy Richard would often disappear off out on his bike for the day, and many of his youthful years were spent playing golf at Murcar. And music was always a passion of his, skipping school to buy concert tickets.
After leaving school, Richard continued his education in Edinburgh, enrolling at Heriot Watt University, where he began studying Actuarial Mathematics, although joked that being an Actuary was for those who found life in accountancy in the fast lane.  In first year at Uni, Richard lived in the halls of residence, then moved to  Claremont Crescent, then in his 3rd and 4th year, he moved to Cumberland Street with Neil, Richard Knox, Phil and Dean. Then Ross moved in, and lived in the cupboard!
Richard then took time out form Uni, working in the Queen Street Oyster Bar and The Venue, before returning to university to complete a general science degree.

After university, with his passion for music, Richard became one of the founders of Renegade Communications - band and club promoters from the late 1980s, who promoted the likes of The Stone Roses, Nirvana, Jamiroquai, as well as legendary club nights ‘Pure’, ‘Tribal Funktion’, and ‘Disco Inferno’ at The Venue, all part of his story, and him very much a part of theirs.
But it wasn’t “All work and no play” for Richard, because one night, when Disco Inferno was being held on the Love Boat in Leith, he spotted a lovely lady called Karen who was celebrating her 19th birthday with ‘the girls’.  Richard was out with Neil Watson (the Reg Holdsworth weekend), and shares memories, as do Lesley and Christine, of Richard holding on to the ceiling in the Love Boat and pointing over to Karen, who was doing same with the girls (although not being propped up by the ceiling).
Well, as you all know, romance blossomed, and they became the true loves of each other’s lives, and were duly married at Murthly Castle Estate in Perthshire – which, along with many other people, I have fond, and slightly inebriated memories of.
Marital bliss for Richard and Karen was hugely enhanced with the birth of their daughter Imogen on the 5th of March in 2005, and again on the 31st of January 2007, when their son Louie arrived to complete the Forbes clan.

At the time he first met Karen, Richard was living in Elm Row, above Bill’s Tattoo’s. He then stayed with Karen, crashing at her uni flat, then at her flat in Leith.
After opening The Garage with Donald and Michael in Glasgow, Richard rented through there for a while.  But, in December 1994, Richard and his sister Lynn decided to open the legendary Basement bar, which changed the Edinburgh scene and put Broughton Street firmly on the map. Two years later they opened Smoke Stack, both Edinburgh institutions.  Richard also bought his first flat in Broughton Street, above Smoke Stack, and joked about needing a passport to leave the street. He was even nicknamed Mr Broughton Street.  
Ross and Taxi the cat stayed in the Broughton Street flat, as did Keith and Nikkola, and eventually it was Karen and Richard’s home where their daughter Imogen first lived, before moving to Willowbrae in 2005, then further up the A1 to Duddingston Crescent in 2011.
Richard often joked about needing incremental steps to leave living in Broughton Street, but since 2008, their holiday home in Lofer, in Austria, has been a big part of family life, and the skiing crowd and business Richard brought to Lofer is something he joked that he should’ve had shares in the Tourist Office & Sturm Ski School – so many friends now regularly return to Lofer every year. Chris Wilson calls Lofer “Richard’s Austrian Village”.

Among Richard’s many interests, were his endless love of music, films, and listening to podcasts about films. Thanks to him, both Imogen and Louie already have a great knowledge of music and film. Richard also enjoyed playing guitar, teaching Louie guitar, and Imogen to play the ukulele. He was also keen on building things - tree houses, zip lines, sclalextric, and he loved doing any D.I.Y.

Outside of the home, Richard absolutely loved bicycles. Building bikes and fixing bikes. There are currently nine bikes in Austria, eleven in the garage, and thirty classic Pashley bikes in Broughton Street.
Apart from cycling, Richard also enjoyed skiing and snowboarding, and especially coaching kids rugby. He also loved a bit of wheeling & dealing on EBay; the Aberdonian in him… Always an entrepreneur, Richard branched out with a Campervan Hire company, which was very popular with people who wanted to tour around the Scottish Highlands and Islands.  He also instigated and ran Air B & B experiences; “Edinburgh by Pashley” Bike Tours, “Scottish Tasting Dinners” and a ‘Whisky Lab’, along with his Air B & B rental  business.  

When it came to holidays, before Imogen and Louie were born, Richard and Karen had holidays to the Caribbean and the Indian Ocean, as well as many city breaks, although their love and family life in summer and winter in Austria are memories that are treasured, and which will live on.

Now, what’s in a name?  Richard – that’s a classic old Norman name, popular for a thousand years and favoured for Kings.  It’s a name that Richard was proud of, and proud of the fact that it was also a name that, for the past 30/40 years, was no longer popular.
Nicknames “Rich” "Richy", "Ricky” "Dick, "Dickie", or “Rico”- were all a no-no (although there are more) - it was Richard, or it was Richard - yet despite this, Richard still somehow had many names - before Imogen and Louie were born, he was known as “DAD" in The Basement, Ricardo on ski holidays, Mr Broughton Street, and ‘The Sherpa’ (as the mountain ski guide in Austria), and he was even called “John” to the guys in the shop across the road. They would greet him “All right John”, which Richard thought was a term like ”All right, mate” – then, after years, he realised that they really thought he was called John, but he didn’t have the heart to tell them. . . .  However, Richard did have two names for himself. . . . “Care in the Community” and “Ask Forbes dot com”.

Well, as you can easily imagine, Karen has been inundated with many, many, personal tributes and memories about Richard.  In fact, there are so many that we could easily be here for the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening, but we only have thirty minutes, so I’m first going to read you what Richard’s friend
Mark Fowlestone wrote, which starts off in the form of a conversation. . . .

TITLE :Forbsy , Forbaggio, the Forbmeister  (more names of Richard)

MARK - Hi mate, have you ever used Oilatum for your skin?
RICHARD: Yes – it’s a good moisturiser but not a miracle cure
MARK:       Thanks mate – we are pitching for their business.  
RICHARD: Like your thought process – do I know any scabby bastards? Boom – I’ll give Forbsy a shout. . .
MARK:       Damn, you know me so well.
RICHARD: If I ever need the opinion of a specky northern twat, I’ll know who to call.

Let me now read you the rest of Mark’s email:
Like many folks, we all got to know Forbsy through that mecca of extroverts and perverts, the Basement on Broughton Street.  It was our home, mostly our distraction, sometimes our feeding ground, but always the catalyst of so much goodness and badness.  It created so many fantastic and most unlikely friendships that transcended that mad wee cauldron of chaos.
As those halcyon days faded, Forbsy got the band back together as a golfing firebrand.  At its core were the Five:  Kipps, Jamie, Rick and I, and with regular guest appearances from Stuart (‘handsome bastard’ as Forbsy would refer to him), and Ryan - a likely lad turned private banker to the elite.
As our lives became so much faster with ever increasing individual and family commitments, then golf provided us all with a wee escape button, a rabbit hole in which we could all scurry down.
Regular weekly appearances at Craigelaw Golf Club must have been of so much amusement to the other more traditional membership – Two unmistakable hairdressers - one covered in tattoos and taking no messing, the other like Russel Brand on acid, a fiery Rockstar chef with a penchant for throwing his clubs around, and a northern twat who saw himself more as a small time empresario than a doctor of marketing.
Indeed, a proper rum bunch that, without fail, arrived late into the car park with a dreadful din, unceremoniously dragging all their stuff to the first T, and then offered no warmup and equally no decorum.  A cursory “good luck gentlemen” from Forbsy,  and then smash - we were off.  It was always a blissful few hours together. We’d play, dish banter, shout, and laugh so very much, and then all head back to the club house for a wee shandy, a bite to eat, and to settle all the on-course bets – mostly going Forbsy’s or Kipps’ way.  It was there one afternoon, in the members lounge, that Forbsy hatched a plan to take our golf onto a bigger stage – the Costa.
Known more for brits abroad, egg and chips, and gangster hideaways - it was also awash with stunning golf courses, and just a couple of hours south.
So began a golfing odyssey that would span over ten years - our annual weeks playground in the sun. headlined by our very own tournament “The Alto Cinco”, or as you’d, say “The High Five”. For such a rag-bag group of opinionated individuals, Forbsy made this happen with aplomb. From selflessly donating a week’s amazing celebrity level accommodation, to sorting the van hire, making sure we had a list of spectacular golf courses to tackle, and thoughtfully ensuring we put ice cold San Miguel front and centre of the shopping list.  These trips were fantastically unmissable, and always bursting with amazing memories. Forbsy loved these trips; those early morning swims with Rik, long laid-back lunches, face timing his family, quality dining in the evening, and endless games of pool into the wee small hours – Oh, and did I mention wrecking the odd golf cart, and constantly having to buy heaps of replacement balls.  Seeing Forbsy in his element on the sun-lounger, kicking back for a change with a book, was a picture of relaxation.
We are so grateful that Forbsy made it all happen, it’s just a shame his brilliant golf game went uncharacteristically awry in Spain – bad enough to actually coin the phrase for a poor shot as, “Doing a Forbsy”.  
We, like so many others, are deeply saddened at the loss of such a tremendous guy, but of also our close mate.  He was a wise sage, with a wicked acerbic wit that gelled us all together and thankfully always made the good stuff happen.
We have all vowed to play the “Alto Cinco” one more time and, more importantly, raise a glass of ice-cold San Miguel to the most fantastic of playmates.
~ ~ ~
Thank you, Mark, for those wonderful words.

I’d now like to read you just a few memories from Neil Watson:

I remember watching Richard, very drunkenly trying to chat up a very attractive girl in leather trousers on a boat in Leith (as he kept reminding me the next day), holding onto the low ceiling to stop himself falling over. That girl, if my memory is correct, went by the name of Karen.
I remember our two years in the University flat in Cumberland Street, and his balanced diet of Chicken and Chips, Birdseye Quarter pounders, twiglets and red stripe.
A bizarre evening in a pub in Edinburgh, just up from the Playhouse, with Ken Morley (aka Reg Holdsworth from Coronation Street).
Richard was one of life’s good guys, always generous, willing to help others, give his time, and always full of fun.
Whilst he may no longer be with us, the happy memories remain.

Thank you, Neil.

Here are some of the words about Richard that Nikkola has also kindly written:

I was only a kid when I first met Richard, just out of Uni at 20 years old. I admired and respected him, he was cool and smart. Richard was the most inclusive, open-minded and generous man that I had ever met at that time. I was in awe. I had never really belonged before, never really fitted in. What he created was an environment that was accepting, he didn’t care where you came from or what baggage you had, he didn’t care what your background, creed or colour was.
I have so many great memories:
His amazing hair and quiff, terrible most of the time though as always needing cut! His great style and taste, however shocking shoes – possibly some of the worst I have ever seen.
His fantastic cooking.
He loved music and dancing, and I loved dancing with him.
His DJing behind the Basement bar.
He could sleep standing up - no joke.
His patience and kindness, giving me a job, looking after me when I moved in with him and Keith. Looking after both of us when we came home from travelling and had nothing.
Louie and Imogen. Your dad changed my life. He helped me without knowing it, opening my eyes to a world where anyone and everyone fitted in, and friendship was the most important thing. I have been so lucky to have known him.

Thank you Nikkola, for those beautiful words.

The Heriots and Vikings Rugby Clubs also sent this:

Richard and Louie joined Heriots Rugby in August 2012, when Louie was in P1.
The following year Richard stepped up to the mark and took over as Lead Coach for the Micros - which for P1 and P2 combined is more a case of man-marking and herding!  Clubs like ours, and indeed so many across all sports, depend on volunteers. People who stand up, perhaps venturing out of their own comfort zone and skillset and contribute, giving their time, enthusiasm, commitment and dedication to a group of children so they can learn, develop a love for sport, for making friends and companions that will remain forever through their lives.
For that is what sport can do. And Richard did step up, stepped out of his comfort zone, and worked tirelessly with the group of boys to help and develop them, to encourage them, promoting their self-belief and enjoyment. He was always fair with the boys and treated each player with the same respect, giving all the same opportunity at every training session and match or tournament. The culmination of his work was to take a squad of boys, plus dads, on a rugby tour to Dublin.
Richard joined the Rugby Committee and for many years worked hard for the Junior Section, often in the background, whether organising fliers for new members, ordering programmes or signs for the tournament, no task was too small. He supported the club with sponsorship, and supported the catering at major functions. He came up with new ideas for the design of the Heriots Hammers branding, as well as for end of season Fun Day - introducing the coaches match and Tug o’War, and even hosted the coaches Christmas get together at the Smokestack every year - very popular!  As Louie’s journey through Heriot’s junior rugby came to an end and he progressed into the North Edinburgh Vikings, Richard decided to step back as coach, but did not want to lose his contact with the boys, so he volunteered to organised the much bigger squad as year group manager. The Vikings coaches for the year group really valued his help and organisation, and they wanted to add the few following words today: “Those of us from the Stew Mel side had the pleasure of coaching mini rugby against Richard‘s teams for five years, when we enjoyed many great tussles with Heriots - they were always very well coached and played good rugby.  More recently we joined forces as the North Edinburgh Vikings, and Richard was a big part in helping to unite the two former clubs into one. He also did many of the unseen but very important administrative tasks, which are vital to the successful running of any club. His passion for, and enjoyment of mini rugby always shone through, and both the children and parents of both clubs owe him a great debt of gratitude. He will be very much missed, and our thoughts and prayers go out to his family at this very sad time.
The whole Heriots and Vikings rugby community will miss Richard, thank him for his work, and send our best wishes and sincere condolences to Karen, to Louie and to Imogen.”

I’d now also like to thank Andrene and Ron, who are currently stuck in Canada, for the following message:

You all know the saying “Out of sight, out of mind”, but at times like this it could not be further from the truth. The virus has had major impacts on us all, and in our case has made it unrealistic to get back to UK.  We are constantly aware of the sad situation in Edinburgh and wish we could do more to help and be there today.
Karen had asked me to write a few words about Richard and it is difficult to condense our feelings for him in only a few. We have known Richard since he first met Karen, and have watched the growth of the relationship as it developed.
We still remember the time they temporarily broke up, with a phone call in the middle of the night from Karen, but they both quickly realised the mistake it was for them. Then marriage and a life together. Fairly soon Imogen was born and then Louie, and our overriding memory of Richard is as a family man. He was devoted to the children and played a major role in their development.
It is a testimony to him to see the fine young people they have grown into today.
On a more personal level, whenever we visited it was Richard who generally prepared the meal. He knew that we liked special Crombie sausages from Broughton Street, and usually managed to get them for us. It was typical for him to be in the kitchen when we chatted to Karen, and we now remember the friendly, accommodating, family man that we loved and respected.
~ ~ ~
Well, when it comes to describing someone’s character, it is often difficult for people to find the words. However, that was definitely not the case with Richard. The words positively flowed: Richard has been described as; loving, clever, kind, generous, respectful, entrepreneurial, trusting, caring, easy going and funny. Richard would fix anything for anyone, no matter how long it took, and he always saw the best in everyone.

When I asked Karen to describe what an ‘ideal day’ would be for Richard, I was told that it would be with his family, and having a BBQ in the garden - or a blue skies day in the mountains, skiing in Austria - as long as they were up by 7am, which never happened - or golfing with the boys at Craigielaw or in Spain.
~ ~ ~
Well, I’m sorry to have to tell you, but there’s just not enough time left this afternoon to read you all the other wonderful memories that have been sent from Keith, Rick, Graham, Adam, Kipps, Scott & Shaolei, Rob, Sharon, Mark Kirk,– but I’m sure that they, and many others, will be posted on Richard’s Facebook page, where you’ll also find details of how you can make a donation to the RNLI.
~ ~ ~

REFLECTION

When you entered here, you heard ‘The Sacrifice’, by Michael Nyman, from the soundtrack to the film ‘The Piano’,  and then, from the soundtrack to ‘Amelie from Montmartre’, you heard ‘Comptine D’un Autre été’, performed by Yann Tiersen. 
Now, this loving and well-loved man has gone and, as you’ve heard, he is greatly missed.
But we’ve now arrived at the time for contemplation and reflection that I promised you earlier, and we’re now going to hear a song that’s on the soundtrack of the Wim Wenders film, ‘Until The End Of The World’ which was written by Ray Davies from The Kinks.  It’s simply called ‘Days’, and it’s performed by Elvis Costello.
While it’s playing, it will give you time to think about Richard and, for those of you of faith, time to say your own silent prayer.
Reflection music:        ‘Days’ ~ Elvis Costello   [4’:02”]
~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~
Now Imogen has written some words for her beloved father. . . and I’d now like to ask Karen to come up and read them to you.

‘Never Forget’
1967, 10th of December,
I will never forget, you’ve given me so much to remember,
Precious moments and stories, forever in my heart,
For I wish we were together even though we’re now apart,

From every movie, bad joke and tune,
You are my everything, my stars, my sun and moon,
I will always hear your laugh and never forget your smile,
Your Dad dancing, well, I’d still run a mile.

And though you have taken your last breath,
You will still be here with me, love is stronger than death,
Every second that I spent with you I will always treasure,
My love for you Dad is more than anyone can measure.
~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~
Thank you, Imogen, for those lovely words.
~ ~ ~ ~
Ladies and gentlemen, we have now reached the point where we must say our formal farewell to Richard so, if you are able, will you all now please rise.

COMMITTAL

We have been celebrating and remembering the life of Richard.
As we all stand together now, in this last rite of his physical existence, we commit his character and personality to our memories, and his love and his friendship to our hearts.
We are glad that we saw his face,
We took delight in his friendship,
We rejoice that he lived,
And we treasure the life that we walked with him.
We now wish Richard peace as we commit his body to its end, so that it may be returned to the elements of the universe.
Now, as we say goodbye, this is a time for our own quiet reflections.
The great circle and cycle of life goes on, and love abides eternally.
We wish peace and love for you Richard - and peace and love for us all.
~ ~ ~ ~
Thank you - please be seated.

CLOSING WORDS

I hope that this ceremony has helped you all to focus on something about Richard that made you smile, and that you will always be able to remember him - not just with a heavy heart, but also with a sense of calm, as you reflect on the fact that he does not suffer any pain, and that he is now at peace.
So, let us not give way to bitterness, but instead, grow to live life with more tenderness, courage and purpose than ever before.
May this be for us all, for the best of all answers to death is the whole-hearted and continuing affirmation of life, and for the greater fulfilment of humankind.
Find friends and support each other, remembering how you felt today, sharing your thoughts and feelings, and how much more bearable your pain is when it is shared.

When the current restriction on social gatherings has been lifted, Richard’s family intend to hold a celebratory memorial ceremony, and I’m sure that all of his family and his friends will then be able to share all their memories of Richard, perhaps while enjoying an ice-cold San Miguel and, I hope, while having a smile and a laugh as they do.
I am sure that Richard would want you to do that.

I would just like to add a few last words.
Richard’s mother, Betty, wanted to say that “Richard was loved, a loving son, and loyal brother”.
And Karen wanted to add “Richard was a loving husband, and quite possibly the best dad there ever could be.
Richard will want us to lead full happy lives, we will do our best to fulfil this for him, no matter how hard it is.
He will always be my husband with his beautiful soul, and Imogen and Louie’s dad”.
-
Richard was loved - not just by Betty, Willie, Lynn, Karen, Imogen and Louie, but by everyone.  Everyone LOVED Richard.

It only remains for me to thank you for being here today.

Now, as you depart, you will hear music written by the composer Claude Debussy, it’s ‘Suite Bergamasque, L.75: III ‘Clair de Lune’.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you are able, I now ask you all, for one last time, to please stand.
Thank you.
Exit music: ‘Suite Bergamasque’, L.75: III ‘Clair de Lune’ ~ Steve Anderson [5’:13”]
Total music duration (approx.): 15’:09”